Looking Forward

        Soon a New Year will be upon us, and I will, like many others, use this time to reflect on the things of the past, and look forward to the future.  This past year has not been one of my best, I must admit.  Health, finances, personal development, none of these areas have been anywhere close to stellar this year.  In 2011 I gained back most of the weight that I worked so hard to lose in 2010.  Financially, I, like many others, would rather forget this past year.  Looking back I am farther behind now than I was when the year started, and losing ground.  I can also say that I feel like personally I stood still this year.  A few years ago I went back to school, but had to give it up because I did not have enough money to go, but made too much to qualify for most financial aid.  I was also working two jobs at the time, and trying to help raise three children.  I should have toughed it out.
      Last July I set a goal for myself that I would be out of my job by July of 2012.  I thought with a year of working towards this goal I could accomplish this.  I am 6 months in now, and actually farther away now than when I started.  I did apply for a job out of state, with the intentions of moving when and if I got the job.  Things looked promising for a few weeks, but then fell through.  I have resigned myself now to the fact that, barring some sort of divine intervention, I am where I am going to be for a while.  I am not complaining, because I am thankful that I have a job in these tough economic times, but do wish I could do better.  There is something disheartening about not being able to take your family on vacations and things like that.  Like I said, I am not complaining, we have a roof over our heads, and food on our table.  Anything else is just icing on the cake anyway.
     My goals for 2012 are simple.  I am going to get serious about my health again, and get rid of the excess weight I am carrying once again.  I have lost the same 50-60 pounds 5 or 6 times already.  I am also going to do my best to get back to spending time in God's word every day.  For a while I did that, and it did me good.  I got a new Bible for Christmas, and I plan on using it.  Everything else will just have to fall into place. 
     As for the blog, once again I plan on being more active.  The stories I do will be different, because of my desire to protect the privacy of my family.  I am not quite sure what direction I want to go with the blog now, but I hope that whatever direction I go that people will enjoy it.  I have considered going strictly humor, sports from a Christian perspective, or just continuing to write whatever is on my mind.  I haven't decided yet.
     I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and wish you a Happy New Year. 

A Little Explanation

    Once gain I find myself explaining why I haven't blogged in a while.  This time I had a good reason.  I have had to go back and edit a good majority of my posts, and even delete some of them entirely.  From now on, I will not call my family by name, or post any pictures of my family on this blog.  It is going to be hard to do, because I do not like referring to my children as my son, or my youngest child.  My kids have names.  Unfortunatly, there are some people in this world who will take advantage of things like there names or images.  That is sad.
    I have talked before about being scared of what kind of world my kids are going to grow up in, and the past few weeks have brought those fears to new levels.  I will not go into details about what has gone on, but it has taken every ounce of my energy the past week or so to process things that were happening.  The blog was the last thing on my mind.  I can say that I am very discouraged, knowing that people who do harm to others often have more rights than those they harm.  I also am learning to guard my privacy more closely. 
    I am not going to stop the blog.  One of the biggest goals of terrorists is to make people afraid, and when they are afraid they stop doing what they love or need to do.  I am not going to allow one crackpot to stop me from doing what I love, and what other people enjoy.  I am however going to be more careful.  One of the casualties of this episode is that there will be fewer blogs about my family, and the ones that I do about them will be extremely general.  I apologize, but that's just the way things have to be.
     I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and stay tuned.  I am just getting started.

My Sitcom Life

     I have come to the conclusion that I should video my life, and then sell the tapes to a network for a sitcom.  I can get myself into situations that are would be comical, if it weren't really happening. It's either that, or it is funny because it is really happening.

     A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked for volunteers to sing at the local nursing home on the second Tuesday of December.  I told him I would try to be there if I could.  As luck would have it my wife had a meeting at church and took one of our kids with her, and the other two decided to stay with my Mom.  I got dressed, and off to the nursing home I went.  I looked forward to being with friends and singing to the residents.  My friend had told me earlier in the day to be there at 7:00, so I happily arrived with about 10 minutes to spare.
     I didn't know what kind of vehicle my friend drove, and didn't see him or anybody I recognized outside when I got there, so I went inside.  I went to the nurses desk and told them I was there to sing with a group.  The nurse looked at me strangely, and said that the singing wasn't until 7:30.  The nurse told me that I was free to go into the dining area where the singing would be and wait.
     I went to the room, and sat down.  7:00 came and went with nobody there.  Around 7:15 an announcement came over the intercom that the singing would begin at 7:30.  I figured I had misunderstood my friend.  Around 7:20 the nurses started bringing the residents in, but still no friend.  About 7:25 a man walked in with an armload of hymnals, and a preacher and his wife walked in with him and started talking to the residents.  This would have been good news, if not for the fact that I knew the preacher, and knew that we were not only of different races, but that I was a Baptist and he was Church of Christ.  I have nothing against Church of Christ singing, in fact I enjoy singing A Capella, but I knew by this point I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    I got up and, as quietly and inconspicuously as possible made my way out.  As I was leaving I talked to one of the nurses and explained what had happened.  She said that a baptist church was supposed to sing the next Tuesday.  I told her my friend had talked to me earlier in the day and said tonight.  I was really confused.
    I got into my car to head home.  As I got on the road, I happened to look at the other side of the nursing home were the assisted living facility is located and saw a small crowd gathered outside.  Sure enough, it was my friend, along with several other people I know.  I pulled in, got out, and walked over.  I asked him if they had already sang and he said yes.  Come to find out my friend calls the assisted living facility the nursing home.  They looked like they had a great time.  He told me he realized he had told people the wrong place and had texted everyone whose cell number he had.  Unfortunately he didn't have mine. We laughed, and I told him I would try to catch them next time.
    That's the way it goes in my world.  My heart was in the right place, and everyone got a good laugh, so no harm no foul.  It could only happen to me.

Christmas Past And Present

     I cannot believe that Christmas is less than two weeks away.  It occurred to me that my kids are growing up, and there are not that many Christmas mornings with children in our house left.  My two youngest are growing up fast.  I'm not looking forward to that day.
     There is something special about Christmas with children.  It doesn't seem that long ago that Rose was the one that we couldn't get to go to bed Christmas Eve.  Rose is a teenager already.  Lauren has already gotten to the point that she understands some of the "mysteries" of Christmas, and I'm sure that Matthew won't be far behind.  I am going to miss it when I don't get to stay up late and wait so I can help Santa.
     When I was a kid, we had a routine every year.  On Christmas Eve night, we would go to my Grandmother's house.  Every year, my Mom and Dad would have to leave to go to the store.  Somehow, when we got home, Santa had been there.  I still remember those Christmas Eve gatherings.  There were a lot of characters in my Dad's family, and I looked forward to seeing them all.  There was a lot of food, and a lot of love.
     When I got older, we would also go to my Dad's house.  Between my Dad and my Step Mother there was a large family.  My Dad loved Christmas, loved having family around, and especially loved the kids.  Christmas morning has always been breakfast with my Mom.
     My Grandmother is gone now, and so is my Dad.  We are doing Christmas a week early with my wife's family.  I am going to really try to take time this Christmas day and just enjoy my family.
      I apologize for the shortness of today's post, as I am extremely busy with another project tonight, and had a Christmas program that I attended.    God Bless.

A Class Act Getting A Raw Deal

     I watched the class AA state championship football game Friday night.  It was a tremendous game between two great high school football teams in the Buford Wolves and the Calhoun Yellow Jackets.  Most people around here were pulling for Calhoun to win, the thinking I guess being that they are a local team.  For my part, I was pulling for Buford. Calhoun has always been a rival, and I just couldn't find it within myself to root for them.  It was like choosing between the lesser of two evils.

Hal Lamb

     Calhoun ended up winning the game, and winning their first state title in 59 years.  While that is a great accomplishment, that is not what this post is about.  What happened after the game has created a controversy, and I just really don't understand what all of the fuss is about.  After the game, the Calhoun coach, Hal Lamb, was interviewed.  The first thing out of his mouth was that he wanted to thank his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I thought it was great.  He didn't preach, just gave praise to his Savior in his moment of victory.  A few minutes later, he again did the same thing while accepting the championship trophy.  During the trophy presentation coach Lamb said Jesus "helped us win today."  I heard this, but didn't give it much thought.  A little while later I went to a web vent about high school sports to read the trash talk that I was sure would be on there.  What I saw amazed me.
    There were almost as many posts about what coach Lamb had said than about the game itself.  Some people were up in arms because the coach had mentioned Jesus, but most of the comments were about why coach Lamb thought that Jesus had helped them win.  They didn't get the point.  I am sure coach Lamb was not inferring that Jesus had helped Calhoun any more than He had helped Buford.  I would imagine that he was only trying to give glory to Jesus, and to thank him for letting him be in the position he was in.  To me it is simple.
     Unfortunately, most people only want to start a fight, especially when it comes to others sharing their faith.  What should have been a great moment for the coach was instead picked apart by people that had nothing better to do than belittle a man for sharing his faith.  That is sad.  That is the world we live in now though.  I don't know coach Lamb, I have ever met him, and probably never will, but I admire him for standing on his faith.  From everything I have read, he is someone who not only talks the talk, but he walks the walk.  I have to admire that.
     As much as I am not a fan of Calhoun, kudos to them for ending the 4 year reign of class AA football by Buford.  This was the 4th year these two teams had played in the state championship, and Calhoun got closer every year.  This year they finally went over the top.  It was a great game, and neither team had anything to be ashamed of.  I wish I could say the same about some of the fans.




































    
  

So Random

     I am borrowing the title for today's blog from a television show my kids watch.  I tried watching it with them one time.  I made it through Dora, TeleTubbies, and even Barney, but could not take 30 minutes of So Random.  I did not find anything wrong with it, as far as letting my kids watch it, but it just wasn't funny, or interesting, to me.
    This blog is being written at 9:40 pm Thursday night.  I normally have this written and am in bed by now, but play practice, and then kids baths took care of that.  Before you ask, I am not acting in the play.  I am singing in the choir.  I love singing, even though I am not the best at it.  Notice I didn't say I wasn't any good?  I have a bad habit of writing on the blog about things I am not good at.  I am a good singer, just not an awesome singer.  I sing bass.  Bass singers are to music what offensive linemen are to football, they never get noticed except when they mess up.  I have gotten to where I can hit a low C fairly well, which is pretty low.
     I also have to admit that I have finally realized that I have a special gift.  I had it back when my kids were little, but never realized it.  It was only recently, while I was spending time with my newest niece that I re-discovered this gift.  I have the unique ability to make babies go to sleep.  Every time I hold my niece, without fail she will go straight to sleep.  I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that every time I have held her so far she was taking a bottle, and a full baby wants to sleep.  I have a theory about why it is so easy for her to sleep while I am holding her, other than the bottle thing.  Not only does she have her belly full, but her Uncle is also warm and soft.
     My wife has told me that I am a human electric blanket.  For some reason, I am just naturally warm.  I also, much to my chagrin, am soft.  This has a lot to do with my affinity for butterscotch, peanut butter and corn chip sandwiches, and a wife that is a lunch lady.  In 2010 I actually lost over 60 pounds.  Unfortunately in 2011, I must have been on a scavenger hunt and recovered a lot of them back.  I am going to recommit myself in 2012 to lose those pounds for about the 10th time in my life.  I am going to do it, and keep to it this time.  I mean it.  Really.
     Finally, something hit me tonight.  I didn't realize until tonight there was a short angel in the Bible.  He is found in Luke 2:9.  The verse reads And, Lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.   Get it, Lo, Low?  As you can tell, time for bed.

The Eyes Don't Have It

       I have lost one of the simple joys in life, and I am not happy about it.  Last night I was sitting at the table eating dinner, and a cereal box was sitting on the table in front of me.  As I sat there eating, I thought back to something I did when I was a child, and something my kids do now.  When I was a kid I loved to read cereal boxes while I ate.

     I don't know what it is about those boxes.  Some people like to read a newspaper, but I always preferred the cereal box.  I wish I could give an award to the first person who decided it was a good idea to put trivia and games on the back of those boxes.  Whoever it was, they were a genius.  There are a lot of fun little games, and great trivia on the boxes.  As I thought about this, it brought back warm feelings of my youth.  I decided to read the box in front of me. That's when I realized I had a problem.

    I am not as young as I used to be.  I realized this the other day when I took my son out to let him kick his football off of his tee.  He was kicking away, then decided he wanted to see his Daddy kick one.  I had visions of kicking one over the tree in our yard, knowing my son would surely be impressed by the tremendous highth and length of my kick.  Instead, what happened is I barely kicked the ball farther than my six year old, and ended up with a slight limp. 

     Back to the subject at hand, as I sat there looking at the cereal box, I realized that I could not make out anything but the large print on the box.  I tried to focus my eyes, but had no luck.  I needed my glasses.  I have several pairs of reading glasses, but rarely wear them.  There is something about the fact that I really need them that I just don't like.  I guess it is the fact that wearing them amounts to admitting I am growing older, and my body doesn't work as well as I used to.

     The cereal box was the last straw.  What was always a sweet innocent joy is now out of reach for me without my glasses.  Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair.

Once Again, Bam!

     It always amazes me how things happen in life.  I have written this same thing in several different forms, too  many times probably, but every time it happens it blows me away.  This time was really weird.
     Bear with me, if you get tired of me writing about my kids, and my Dad.  Tonight (I am writing this Tuesday night) my son got me.  People can say what they want to about genetics versus environment, but my son pulled one out of the genetic sky tonight.
     I was in the kitchen eating supper, and he was in the living room playing his handheld game.  I wasn't paying much attention to him, as I was hungry, and he was occupied.  Every so often I would look in on him, just to make sure he was not into anything he wasn't supposed to be.  When I looked in on him this time though, what I saw floored me.
    My Dad, late in his life, had trouble breathing.  The way my Dad coped with this was to relax in the strangest way I have ever seen.  My dad would be in the floor on his knees, with his body and head on a couch or a chair.  He would sleep like this a good bit of the time.  That was also the way he would read, relax, whatever.  He breathed better that way.  I hadn't thought much about that lately until tonight.
     When I looked in on my son, he was sitting on his knees on the couch, leaned over the arm of the couch like he was praying, playing his game.  He was comfortable, and he was happy.  It hit me like a ton of bricks, he has a lot of my Dad in him.  My son has often talked about his PawPaw Jerry, even though my Dad died before he was born.  I remember at my Dad's funeral, several people told me how much my Dad had been looking forward to his grandson being born.  I think he got to meet him before any of us did.
     Anybody that has lost a parent knows how hard it is.  The pain gets easier, but it never goes away.  I see so much of my Dad in my kids that makes me realize that their is always a part of him here.  I never forget my Dad, but sometimes life gets so hectic I let his memory fade just a little.  Luckily my kids are there to bring it back.  The holidays bring with it special challenges, which I will post more about later.  Right now I just want to take a few quiet moments and remember my Dad, and look forward to the day when I will see him again.

An Almost Interim Type Of Guy

     Monday was the type of day that sums up the way stuff goes for me most of the time.  I finally got the results of the Reader's Digest Contest, and I was not in the top 10.  What that means is that my story was good enough to be considered for a prize and publication, but not quite good enough.  I take consolation that my story was voted into the top 100 though.
     Yesterday I also published a post titled "1000".  The topic, in case you weren't one of the 10 people that read it, was a celebration of my 1000th view of this blog.  The only problem was that by the end of the day, I only ended up with 991 views.  This was just another in my history of coming up just short of my goals.
     I seem to be the guy that always comes in 2nd place, always good enough to get by, but never good enough to win.  Several times in my life I have been an "interim" choir director, or a runner up in contests, those types of things.  That's not to mention that most every time I try to do anything, it never turns out quite like I meant for it to.  I even ran for city council one time, and ended up with 18 votes.  I am proud to say that the man that beat me ended up going on to be Mayor until he retired.

Cousin Virgil

     Thinking about this could really get a guy down, but the more I thought about it, the less it bothered me.  I may never win, but at least I give it a shot, and am in the running.  That has to count for something.  As I write this, The Andy Griffith Show is playing on my television, the one about Cousin Virgil.  If you are a fan of the show like I am, you know the one I am talking about.  Virgil makes a mess out of everything he does, until the end of the show when Virgil saves the day.  Virgil is given the job of cleaning the jailhouse keys, but in the process destroys the keys, with Otis locked in the cell.  Virgil finally tells Andy that he does good, as long as nobody is watching.  When finally given the chance, with nobody watching, Virgil picks the lock and gets Otis out.
     There are worse things than being the runner up, and I take solace in the fact that I am "good enough" most of the time.  Hopefully this story will finally bring me my 1000th view, better late than never.  I have to take the victories however I can get them.
   

1000

Mi Familia

     This blog entry will probably bring me my 1000th view.  It is flattering to know that 1000 times someone has been intrigued enough to come and read what I have written.  This entry is just going to catch people up on what all has gone on lately.
     First of all, I made the finals of the Reader's Digest short story contest.  I have had several people ask me about it, and am flattered.  The winner is supposed to be announced some time around the first of the year.  I'm not holding my breath about winning the $25,000, or even $2,500, but it sure would be nice.
     Rose is now finished with her first year marching.  All she has left is the Christmas Parade.  The band did awesome this year, all superior ratings, and placing high in each contest they entered.  Rose really enjoyed this year, like I said before, she has found her "thing".  I have to admit, I took a lot of pride in watching her on the field marching.  She came a long way from the beginning of the year.  I noticed a tremendous improvement in her marching, and playing.
     Lauren's soccer team did not have the best year, but she got to play forward and goalie, which she never got to do before.  She didn't score any goals, but came close a couple of times.  The funniest thing was during one game, she had a breakaway and was running down the field with the ball.  I of course screamed at her. "GO LAUREN!!!!"  When I did that she turns and looks at me, losing the ball in the process.  We did however get to go on a few road trips, just the two of us, and spend some quality time together.
     Matthew's football season was interesting.  The team pretty much broke even with their record, and made it to the semi finals in the tournament.  Unfortunately they got matched against the best team in the league, who had not given up a single point all season.  The Bulldogs did score one touchdown, which was the only points that got scored on the Indians this year.  Unfortunately, the Indians scored 8 touchdowns, so Matthews season came to a close.  I noticed a great deal of improvement from him also in his first year.  I give credit to his coaches, who took the time to teach him, be patient with him, and truly seemed to care about him.  Towards the end of the year, some of the coaches would even spend time with him and several other after practice, working with them on basics one on one.
    As for me, I am still addicted to butterscotch, still cry when I am happy, and have not crossed anything of my bucket list. My wife, the lunch lady, is still cooking great food and keeping me well fed.   Lastly, I do appreciate each and every one that comes up to me and tells me that you read my blog......even if you do call me Santa.

To Be(ard) Or Not To Be(ard)

     I have a big decision to make in the next couple of days.  I have on the past few weeks neglected to fully shave, and now have an almost acceptable beard.  I have trimmed every day, but just haven't felt like fully shaving.  Now I have to make the tough decision, to keep the beard, or to shave back o my normal goatee.
     I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it involves a lot more than meets the eye.  Whatever I decide to do, I have to take into consideration the "coloring" factor.  Yes, I color my beard.  I don't think that is any big secret, as I let it go several weeks between colorings, and I'm sure most people notice when the salt and pepper turns into total pepper.  Coloring a goatee is easy, and I have gotten quite good at it.  I never have mastered the total beard though.

Hollywood Hogan

     One time before I decided to grow my beard out, and went to color it.  What happened was brutal.  If you ever watched wrestling, and remember "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan you understand.  What I ended up with was a dye job that looked like I was trying to look like a doofus.  I don't dye beards good.  That time I didn't have enough hair on the beard to hold the dye correctly, so basically what I did was dyed my face black.  I shaved the beard, then scrubbed my face for two days.
     I would love to keep the beard, for nothing else but to help keep my face warm.  I don't do cold well, and facial hair helps.  I have to do the dye if I do though, as it is too close to Christmas and I just can't stand the thought of kids running up to me thinking I am Santa Claus with a white beard.  When I was a kid, I used to play Santa during the holidays to make spending money.  That was cool, I had padding and a fake beard.  I don't think my fragile psyche could handle it if I was mistaken for Santa without the fake beard and padding.
     I always go the safe route, and this time will probably not be any different.  I will more than likely shave the beard, keep the goatee, and dye away.   If however I happen to go crazy and try to keep the beard, and dye my face, don't laugh too hard.  And if by some chance I decide to keep the beard and not dye, please don't ask me how Rudolph is doing.

Soul Searching

     Wow, I promise, I have meant to keep up with the blog.  I have thought about it several times, but never did get around to writing anything.  Today I am going to let everybody into my mind for a little bit.  It's not going to be very comfortable for me.
     Anybody that REALLY knows me knows that I have problems.  I'm not talking about major psychological issues, (although I guess they could be), but just normal idiosyncrasies.  I sometimes take these quirks to the extreme.  First off, I like people, I really do, but most of he time I cannot stand being around anybody else.  I guess some people mistake it as me not being friendly, or things along those lines, but that is really not the case.  I am extremely self conscious, and that leaves me feeling awkward in public situations.  I know that sounds weird, but if you aren't this way, there is no way you could understand.  It drives me crazy some times, because  I would love to be out, have friends, and do things normal people do.  I just can't do it most of the time.
     I guess it is, truthfully and painfully, depression.  I hate to say that, because I know of the stigmas that are associated with that term.  Some days I would just rather stay in bed and not face the world than get up and do what I have to do.  Lately, I have been facing these feelings more often than not.  It's not something that I am proud of.  Last week was a perfect example.  We had a dinner at my church, and my family went.  Everything was fine, and I was having a good time, then it hit.  I quietly slid out of the building and went and sat in the car by myself.  I just couldn't take it any more.  It hurts. 
     The hardest part to me is that I never feel like I am good enough, or do good enough in anything I do.  At one point in my life I used that to drive myself.  Now, I mostly let it keep me down.  As hard as it is for me to admit, I have pretty much quit trying at most things.  I go through the motions.  I go to work, do my job, then go home.  My best days are when I can get through the day without being noticed.  I can actually go through some days with barely speaking to another person if I want.  Not a fun way to be.
     I know a lot of people think I am just not friendly, or whatever, and I hate that.  Please just try to understand.  If you are ever around me and I seem like I am in my own little world, I probably am.  Hopefully now that I have gotten this out of the way, I can get back to writing about things that people want to read about.  Now if I can just hit the post button. 

A New Beginning

     I haven't blogged in a while.  Between band, football, and soccer, I just haven't had the time or the energy.  Something happened tonight though that made me decide to bring it back.  I have had several people tell me how much they enjoyed reading, and I felt guilty because I wasn't posting.  I had a few things I thought about talking about, but nothing really hit me as being THAT important lately.  Tonight that changed.
     As I started home from work today, I made my daily call to tell my wife I was on my way home.  The conversation soon turned to my son, who has been having trouble at school.  He had gotten into trouble again, and would have to miss his field trip this week.  The trouble was nothing major, just an impetuous 6 year old that has trouble containing his energy.  I came in the door, talked to my wife to get the full story, then took him into my bedroom for a talk.
     We had already had pretty much the same talk the night before, about having to try really hard to follow directions, and to think about what he was doing before he did it.  He was in tears, as he explained he tried really hard, but could not seem to stay out of trouble.  As we laid there talking, I had to explain to him that the field trip he had been so looking forward to was not going to include him.  The simple fact was that the teachers were afraid that he would lose his concentration and wander off, and the teachers were worried that with all of the kids, they would have trouble watching him and giving him the attention he needed.  I totally understand this, and am thankful that the teachers were honest enough to share their concerns.
    While I was talking, and he was crying, something hit me right between the eyes.  I was being stern with him, but deep within myself I was struggling watching my son as he was struggling with the consequences of his actions.  I was struggling, between wanting to hug him, and comfort him, while at the same time doing what I had to do as his father.  I stopped for a minute, and prayed, telling God of my pain in having to have this talk with my son.  That's when it hit me.
    That is how it is with each of us and our Heavenly Father.  How it must grieve God when we go against what He so clearly tells us to do.  When we do this, He must correct us.  While we are being corrected, God, our Father must also grieve.  It is not out of anger, but out of duty that God must bring us to the correct actions.  At the same time, He also wants to love us, and hold us tight.  This led me to my next revelation.  We have to accept the consequences of our actions, but only to a point. How hard it must have been for God to give HIS Son, as the ultimate payment for OUR transgressions.  
    Hopefully I will be back to blogging again.  It is something I love to do, and something that many people seem to enjoy.  I have a lot to talk about, and several months worth of life while I have been away to talk about.

Why Me Lord

     Today's post comes not from me, but from a friends post on Facebook.  This post was one of the best posts I have read in quite some time.  Like my friend, I sometimes have nights when I cannot sleep, and wrestle with prayer and quiet contemplation with God.  My friend titles his posts "Right From The Desk Of My Heart.  I hope you enjoy this post from Chris.

I'm not quite sure how to begin this post.I suppose by just simply telling the story as it happened...
I had a bit of a restless night last night.Tossing and turning.Not quite being able to get completely comfortable...which is really not out of the ordinary for me.But ,as I found myself drifting in and out,in the waking hours,I had a very heavy thought about my life.The opportunities that I have had.Those that I have made good on as well as those that I haven't done so well with and a recurring question seemed to haunt me out of what little sleep was available.
They say that music is an expression of the soul,so it comes as no surprise that the question that was keeping me awake was in the form of an old tune entitled "Why Me,Lord?" I would like to be naive enough to think that every opportunity that I have ever had were the one's in which I had made good on,but as I began to look through the scope of time,sadly enough,many more were the opportunities that I never acted upon or either made a horrific jumble of.
In the middle of that,just out of the darkness in my bedroom,the question,"why me ,Lord? " popped into my train of thought.You may ask,"well,how does this tie into good or bad opportunities?" Because of a fact that is so simple that even children can understand...let me give you the lyrics.As you read them,think about those opportunities in your own lives,good or bad and allow it to make sense and I will close this note with my thoughts as I feel it applied to me...

Why me,Lord? What have I ever done,to deserve even one of the pleasures I've known? Tell me,Lord...What did I ever do,that was worth loving you or the kindness you've shown?

Lord help me Jesus,I've wasted it! So help me,Jesus,I know what I am...and now that I know that I have needed you so help me,Jesus,my soul's in your hands.

Try me,Lord.If you think there's a way.I can try to repay all I've taken from you.Maybe Lord,I can show someone else.What I've been through myself,on my way back to you.

As I thought long and hard about this tune and opportunities,the only conceivable answer as to "why me,Lord" became very clear.Why do you still allow me to have opportunity when I've not handled most in the manner as I should have? Why me,Lord when the ones that I have made good with were mediocre at best? The answer...because of love.
The love of God for humanity is the greatest love that has ever been known...and until we come to the understanding that what we do has to reflect that type of love,our opportunities will be mediocre at best. The best way to even try to repay the kindnesses shown to us is to love one another with a pure heart.So,as morning broke,I gained a new understanding of "why" we are given more opportunities than we deserve.
God's word states,"herein is love,not that we loved him,but rather that he first loved us." Right from the desk of my heart. :)

More Random Ramblings

     I checked my Facebook tonight when I got home from football practice with my son.  Of course this was after I ate the homemade pizza my wife, the lunch lady, had made for me.  Lots of stuff going on, and lots of stuff on my mind.
     Today (Tuesday) Braden Martin would have been 4 years old.  Braden and his brother Brad were both killed in a car accident on April 5, 2010.  I remember what I was doing, and where I was standing when I heard the news.  Their brother, Bran, and their Father and Mother Gene and Becky survived the accident.  Bran almost didn't, and his recovery is nothing short of a miracle.  I hope that I can bring you their story here on this site soon.  These are great people, whom I love dearly.
     Another friend of mine lost his grandmother yesterday at 100 years of age.  Living to 100 is not something that many people accomplish.  I read the things that were written about her, and she left a great testimony from her life.  That is something that we should all hope for, that when we pass on, even though their are tears, there will be the hope that it is not the end, but only a beginning.  My prayers are with this family also.
      My uncle, Oscar A (Bud) Fletcher would have been 87 years old yesterday.  He was a character.  I remember very little about him, but I do remember being in awe of him.  He was an old Navy man.  I have learned a lot more about him lately.  Being in the Navy, he got to see the world.  Thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with some of his children, my cousins.  I will probably talk more about him one day.
     Lastly, I had another dream of my Dad Saturday night.  In a lot of ways I look forward to these dreams, because they are so vivid, and I feel like I have gotten to spend time with him.  The one I have most often does hurt though, because I often dream that he is not really gone.  While it is comforting, and exciting while I am asleep, it hurts tremendously when I wake up.  This time was different.  The latest dream my Dad was not as I always knew him, but was of him as he was when he was young.  My dad was strong and healthy. and young.  This is the way I know he will be the next time I see him.  Maybe that is one of the reasons death doesn't get me like it used to.  I know that there are better things ahead.  This life is hard, but it is only temporary.
     Once again I guess I have rambled my way to a topic.  I truly feel sorry for people that don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, especially when it comes to losing loved ones.  I just don't see how they can handle it.  Losing a loved one is hard even for Christians, but at least their is that assurance that the separation is not permanent.  It is only temporary.     The little time that the separation is there is no comparison to the eternity together in the end.  I try not to use this as a forum to push my faith too much, but instead use it to show a dad's life from a christian perspective.  I will however sometimes ask these questions.....if you were to die tonight, do you know where you will spend eternity?  If you were to die tonight, have you lived a life that those you leave behind will have a hope of seeing you again?  I hope the answer to both of these was yes. 
 

Part Two

     That was my Saturday.  The band did awesome, straight Superior scores with high placements in their class.  Sunday was church, then a long nap at home before returning to church again.  These are not the things that have dragged me down though.
     Just recently a friend of mine got some bad news.  He was having trouble breathing, so he went to the doctor to get some allergy medicine. Something got the doctors attention, so they drew blood.  Soon they called my friend and sent him for x-rays.  It was then they found the tumor.  He has a tumor about the size of a fist between his sternum and his esophagus.  They are pretty sure it is cancer.  My friend just turned 36.
     When he went to have more tests done, they also found another tumor under his arm.  This one was smaller, and may turn out to be a blessing in some ways.  They removed this tumor, and are testing it now.  After they figure out just what is going on, they will decide what to do about the big one.  My friend is waiting on the results.  Like I said, my friend just turned 36 years old yesterday.  That's just not right.
     I also have been concerned about another friend that I worked with years ago, but have great admiration for.  He has severe liver problems and is waiting on a transplant.  This one has given me a crisis of faith as I call it, how do I pray in this situation?  I know to pray for God's will, that part is easy, and to lift up my friend.  The hard part is that I can't, in my heart, in sincerity pray for a liver for my friend.  Now I know that sounds cruel, but how can I pray for another person to die, so my friend can live?  I just can't do that. These are the type of things I struggle with. 
     Finally, I have another dear friend that is going through what I call a "Job experience" right now.  Most all of us go through them some times.  Most people call it going through a storm.  My friend is like me, living paycheck to paycheck.  His daughter and my daughter are good friends, and I have known his family for years.  Anyway, he was on his way back from the band competition, when a transfer truck in front of him lost it's dive shaft.  When he ran over it, he blew out two tires and busted a rim.  Luckily, he had left before the band, and the bus picked him and his wife up and brought them home.
     He got his car home Sunday, and used his house payment to buy a tire.  This was bad enough, until Tuesday.  His wife got to work and went in.  She hadn't been at work but for about 10 minutes when someone came in and said a car had exploded.  It was hers. My friend had to take half of a day off of work to deal with this now, which I'm sure was the last thing he needed. 
     Wednesday morning I went to talk to my friend when I got to work, as has become a custom.  I could see that things were starting to get to him.  He is like me, he doesn't show it, so I became concerned.  Soon I found out that with all that was going on, my friend had left home without his lunch box.  This was no big deal, I get free lunch cards for our cafeteria all of the time which I normally give away anyway.  I pulled one out and gave it to him.  Thursday morning he shared some more struggles with me. 
     All of this, along with the death of a dear saint in my church, and other friends that are struggling with issues have honestly just made it hard for me to do the blog this week.  I have found my time better used in prayer and with family.  I really don't think the four or five regular readers of mine have lost sleep because I didn't blog daily.  I really do try to do this 5 days a week, but don't get paid and do have a busy life.  Let me change that, I have made $1.12 off of this blog in the 2 or 3 months I have done it.  I haven't even seen that money though as you don't get paid until you have $100.  I really enjoy doing this, but only want to do it when I really have something to say.

My Adventure

     I haven't posted since last week.  It has been a crazy week, and honestly I haven't had the time or the energy to do the blog this week.  Let me catch you up to speed.
     First, Saturday was my oldest daughters first marching contest.  Being a former band member, this was a big deal to me.  She was scheduled to go on at 3:20 in Jasper Georgia.  The only problem was my son had a football game in Lafayette at 11:00.  No big deal, I had plenty of time.  That's what I thought anyway.
     I left the house around 9:30 Saturday morning, dropped my wife and daughter off at the school to ride the bus, and took off for Lafayette.  We got to the game, parked, and went in.  As is the norm for a 6-7 year old football game, the game was dragging, and  started a few minutes late due to the flag football game running over.  Still, I thought I was in good shape.  That's when things went south.
     Late in the second quarter a kid on my sons team went down with a serious injury.  Before I go any further I will tell you the kid was injured, but is fine now other than his arm in a sling.  Anyway, there was a 40 minute wait on an ambulance to get to the stadium and take the kid to the hospital.  Soon I realized that instead of being on the road by a few minutes after 12:00, it was going to be closer to 1:00.  I was still thinking that the trip was 90 minutes or so, and I would be in good shape.
    When the game ended I called to one of the coaches, who handed my son over the fence to me.  I put him on my shoulders and took off for the car.  When we got in I handed him his clothes to change, and off we went.  I was making good time, until I got to Calhoun.  It was in Calhoun that I lost my highway.  Highway 136 was the directions I had, and I could not find the highway anywhere.  I stopped and asked for directions.
     Hwy 53 would take me straight into Jasper I was told.  I knew that I would eventually, using my directions, end up on 53, and i am fairly familiar with this road, so off I went again.  All was fine until I reached Jasper.  I came to an intersection where there were signs saying 53 East, 53 West, 53 commercial, and 53 Business.  I had no clue which one to take.  I stopped again to ask for directions.
     By now it was closing in on 2:45, but I was in town.  Surely someone would tell me i was close.  The lady I asked was nice, but didn't seem to have much more of an idea than I did.  Finally she told me to go down the road about a quarter of a mile and turn right at the Sheriffs office.  I did as she said and was still confident I was going to make it, until the road turned into dirt.  I saw a young man coming in a truck, and asked him if I was going the right way.  Of course I wasn't.
     I was on the phone with my wife while this was going on, and the young man was trying to give me directions.  I told her I wasn't going to make it, as it was already 3:00.  The kid heard me, and asked me why I was trying to get there.  I explained my situation to him, and he said to follow him, he would take me to the school.  He had to be an angel, as he led me directly to the school.  I pulled into the parking lot at 3:15, grabbed my son, and ran to the stadium.  I made it in as the band was starting to come on to the field.
                                Part Two Tomorrow.

Thursday Funnies

     This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
      He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
      George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
      Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

     A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
      When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."  Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
     Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked." 

Onions and Allergies

     My post about my Dad yesterday had more hits than any other post I have ever done.  I had 50 visitors to my blog to read what I wrote.  I am humbled.  I wish I could say that I have a great follow up, something to wow those people that came to read that piece.  Unfortunately I don't.
     I can tell you that I did find out a very valuable lesson last night.  I found out that when you have allergies, and they are bothering your eyes, that is not the greatest time to try to cut onions.  I started having a little trouble with my eyes watering and burning yesterday afternoon.  I didn't think much of it.  I went to watch my son practice football and things seemed to be better.  After we came home, and I ate a wonderful steak my wife had waiting on me, I decided to go ahead and cut a couple of onions for a benefit lunch at work. 
     My wife, as she normally does when it comes to food, asked me if I wanted her to do it.  I, being a man, said no, I had it under control.  I got out my onions, and my huge knife.  I had visions of Food Network on my mind, sure that my wife and kids would be impressed with my slicing and dicing skills. It didn't take long before I realized that I was struggling.  It also didn't take my wife long.  "Why don't you come over to the table and do that, you'll have more room?"  I moved from the counter to the table and continued with my quest.  "Why don't you use the chopper" she asked.
     By now I could see that I was losing, but wouldn't dare admit it.  As soon as she walked out of the room, I got up to get the chopper.  Of course, being a man, I had no idea where it was.  "Honey, where is the chopper?"  After she told me where it was, and then came back in the kitchen to show me where it was, I was on my way.
     The first half of the first onion went fine.  Soon thought the fumes from the onion caught up to me, and I found myself standing in the kitchen unable to open my eyes.  The allergies and the onions had made my eyes feel as though there were flaming pins in them.  I stumbled blindly into the bedroom and flopped onto the bed.  As I lay there writhing in agony my wife asked me if I was finished.  Bravely I said no, I was taking a break.  I'm sure the painful groans gave me away, along with the fact I was stumbling blind when I came in, but she said nothing.  After a while I recovered enough to go back and finish, but not before blinding my self again.
     It was about that time that my wife said those magic words.  "Honey, you're tired, why don't you go lay down and rest."  Now, that doesn't sound like much, but I know what she really means when she says that is Honey you are tired, and you are making things worse.  You have made a valiant effort and failed miserably, but I love you and don't want to embarrass you.  I stumbled through the house, told my family good night, then went to bed.  That's why I don't have a great follow up.  Blame it on the onions. I hope ya'll forgive me.

Daddy

My Dad as a Young'un

     Some stuff happened today that got me to thinking about my Dad.  I loved my Dad more than anything in this world, but our relationship wasn't always the greatest in the world.  Some of it had to do with the fact that we were so much alike.  The older I am getting though, and the more I am experiencing life, the more I realize I just didn't cut him enough slack.  I'm finding that out the hard way.
     One of the biggest problems my Dad and I had was when I was in high school and college.  I would get angry at my dad, when he didn't come to watch me play in the band, come to concerts, or other activities that I was involved in.  I didn't understand everything back then that I do now.  I wish I had.  I could have had more time with him.
     I always thought that my Dad just didn't care enough about me to be bothered with watching me.  Lately I have come to understand that there are other things that probably factored into it.  When my Dad would come to watch me in a ball game, he would stand at the fence and not come in.  I took it as an insult.  When I graduated college my Dad wasn't there.  I didn't speak to him, unless I had to, for several years after.  For a long time I didn't call him Daddy, just Jerry.  I can't imagine how much hurt that must have caused him.
     As I have gotten older, and have kids of my own, I see just how wrong I was.  It came to a head with me today.  I am obsesive about being with my kids whenever I possibly can whenever they are doing anything.  Friday night, my oldest daughter will be traveling to march at a football game that I could be at if I really hustled.  The more I tried to figure out how I was going to do it, the more I realized that I couldn't.  It had nothing to do with time this time, just the fact that between gas money, ticket to the game, food, etc, that I just could not afford to do it.  The mortgage, gas for work, power bill, etc. had to take precedence.
     I probably could have pulled it off is my son didn't have a football game Saturday morning, and My daughter didn't have a band contest Saturday afternoon.  These are things I feel like I have to be there for.  Then it hit me, how many times did my Dad wish he could be in the stadium for me, but didn't so that he could make sure I had the material things I needed?  My Dad worked a lot, and I never went without anything I truly needed.
     I found out after my college graduation that my Dad had indeed came to it, but it had rained and the graduation was moved from the college to a local high school gym.  My Dad had given up his ticket so that others in my family could be there.  I was wrong.
     I struggle sometimes with the fact that I could probably get a job that pays better than what I have now, but it would come at a price.  The hours would be different, and I would miss out on so many things in my kids lives.  It is a hard choice to make.  I hope that as my kids get older, the fact that I was there for them as much as I possibly could be outweigh the fact that they missed out on a lot of material things.
    I also hope that my Dad, who I know is in Heaven looking down on me, knows how much I loved him.  Our relationship before he died was great, and we had many good years before he passed.  I just wish I could have some of the time we missed because we were both so stubborn back.

Being Happy

     Today was supposed to be Faith Friday.  This was something that I had started on another blog, where I would share a story of faith, or a testimony, from other people.  I asked people to send their stories to me, but only had a couple of people respond.  That's okay.  Today I am going to talk about being happy.
     I try my best to act like I am happy all the time.  I'm not saying I am always content, and that things are always good for me, but I try to put on that appearance.  I can't always say that I have done that, but since I have recently decided to REALLY try to change my attitude, this has been a priority for me.
     I have found that the way I act has a direct influence on others.  When others would ask me how I was doing before my attitude change, the normal answer was "I'm here" or "okay I guess."  Now if you ask me more likely than not you will get "I'm wonderful" or"if I were any better I would be twins."  The great thing is when I answer with a smile, I normally get a smile back.
     I am not saying that I am always happy.  This IS life.  I do get discouraged.  I entered a contest on Reader's Digest, who then contacted my local paper and told them my story was one of the most popular stories in the contest.  I was ecstatic, I thought I had done something really good, and something that had touched a lot of people.  Yesterday they started posting the vote totals.  I had a grand total of 63 votes.  Not the world changing thing I thought.
     That's okay.  If this blog can make one person feel better, or that story can give one person hope, then it is worth it.  I am going to keep on smiling, whether I get another vote, or another visitor.  I have a great family, a roof over my head, and food on my table.  That's all I can ask.
     I am going to end with a link to the contest I am in.  It is on facebook, so if you are one of the few that don't have FB I guess you can't vote.  You have to "like" the Reader's Digest page also.  Here is the link.
                                        Faith Of A Child 
    I am off to have an awesome day, and an even better weekend.  I hope you do too.

Glorious Day

    Today is a day to just take a moment and Praise Him.  The song I am sharing today was on my mind all day Wednesday.  I normally don't plan to do videos, but use them when I don't have anything to say.  Today is different.  This is what I want to say.  This is for everyone that ever said a prayer for me, and believed in me when I didn't deserve it.   I thought about what I could write to go along with the video I am sharing today, but no words I can come up with felt appropriate.  So..................

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

1 Corinthians 15:51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

God bless each and every one of you today.

Ramblings

     I have a routine in the mornings.  I get out of bed and go to my computer.  I will check facebook, read the news, and do my blog (okay, some days I do my blog).  Today was no different.  What has happened is that I have nothing big enough to warrant an entire blog today, so I am going to do random thoughts. I am just going to ramble what comes to mind.
     My Pastor's wife yesterday got great news.  She is cancer free.  I cried.  I hate cancer.  I have watched too many friends and loved ones fight this awful disease and lose.  Eva Nell Woods, Christine Fox, Carleen Stowe, Herman Adams, and so many others that did not deserve to have to go through what that terrible disease did to them.  Mrs. Eva fought the battle harder than anybody ever could.  These were precious people that I still miss terribly.
     I guess I have found my theme.  I remember when I was younger I would hear older people talk about Heaven, and how much they longed to see their loved ones that had gone on before.  I always thought that was odd back then.  Now I understand.  I look back and think about how many loved ones have already gone on and realize that I am quickly getting to the point where there are more there than here.  It happens fast.
     One day I was just a kid, then a young adult.  I am middle aged now I guess and quickly heading forward.  It is strange when you wake up and realize that you are much closer to being in the senior adult group at your church than you are to the youth group.  In my mind I am still the young man I was, but my body knows better.  The aches and pains don't go away as quickly.  I thank God every day that I am blessed with health for myself and my family.
     I am asking you all to keep a friend of mine, Mrs. Beverly, in your prayers as her mother is soon to pass over to the other side.  Another prayer for a friends son who has a concussion, and for a friend of mine fighting cancer.  I don't know who all reads this blog, on a normal day there are between 20- 25 people to read what I write.  I am going to ask God to bless you all today.
   

Being Famous

     I have come to a conclusion that I would not want to be famous.  Last week the Summerville News ran a story on me and my daughter.  The article was about a story I had submitted to Readers Digest for a contest which was being considered for publication.  I didn't give it much thought.  I figured a couple of people would make jokes about it, and that would be it.  Boy was I wrong.
     It has been amazing how many people have come up to me and told me they read the article.  Most of them use the same line, "can I have your autograph?"  Of course they are joking.  It is flattering, and I am humbled that they would take the time to congratulate me.  The problem is, I am a humble person to begin with, so the attention makes me uncomfortable.
      The story was about the Miracle Baseball, which I have wrote about here.  The problem was that the contest was for 150 words or less.  It took me 4 days to tell the entire story on the blog.  When people come up to congratulate me, they are finding themselves trapped for five or so minutes while I tell them the entire story.  Most of them have the same reaction, that it could only have been an act of God.  That is why I put the story out in the first place, for God to get the glory.
     If it takes me having to get a few pats on the back to share that testimony, then I guess it is worth it.

My Football Problem

The Reason I Must Do Better

    I talk a lot on here about my victories, but today I am going to talk about a defeat.  Saturday, I did something that I was not proud of, and I want to come clean.
     My son Matthew had his first "real" football game Saturday morning.  Matthew loves playing football, but is young, small, and hasn't gotten the hang of the game yet.  Saturday morning, I did something that I said I never would do.  I acted like an idiot, and I am sorry.
     The league that my son plays in has a rule that all kids have to play eight minutes, but the team he plays for has 27 kids.  In a 32 minute game, it is hard to get 27 kids eight minutes.  Matthew didn't get his, and I got stupid.  After the game as I went to pick Matthew up, I made flippant comments to the coach about his playing time, and we ended up getting into an argument on the field.  I am ashamed of myself.
     A friend of mine and I were talking one time about why we yell and scream at football games, but not at church.  I am like that, I will more likely be sitting quietly with a tear in my eye than shouting.  He told me that with him, he felt like it was because when he was at games, he was in the flesh, and when he was at church, he was in the spirit.  I felt like that was a good explanation. 
     The problem is, I got WAY too much into the flesh Saturday morning, and as a result I lost a lot of respect from people, and myself.  As a Christian, I am supposed to try to be like Christ in everything that I do, and in this instance I didn't.  I am getting more and more mindful of my behavior, and my actions and how it reflects on my faith.  I get too much into the flesh at football games though.  That is something I have always had a problem with, so much so that I almost dread going to games.  If my kids aren't involved, I don't go. I have lost a lot of sleep over this, because I know better.  I tried calling his coach Saturday afternoon to apologize, but could not get him.  I am going to try again tomorrow at his practice face to face.   
     The thing is, Matthew didn't care that he didn't get his time in.  He didn't even know it.  It was Dad, and Dad got stupid.  Here's hoping that the coach will accept my apology and know that it will not happen again.  I don't want to be that kind of a parent.
     An update since I wrote this last night, his coach called and we had a long talk.  We are good.   That is a load off of my mind, but still no excuse.  I have to do better, and be a better role model for my kids.

Labor Day Laugh

Just a little something to brighten your rainy Labor Day.

Insomnia and Eternal Things

    Once again I can't sleep.  Too many things going on in my mind, and the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I wonder some times if I am the only one that gets this way.  Do others have as much trouble finding the elusive rest?  I find myself like this often.
     So many things on my mind right now.  There are life's everyday problems, like how to pay bills, how to be in two or three places at once.  Then there are concerns for others.  It amazes me when I go to church the number of prayer requests that are given.  So many people today are fighting cancer or other diseases, dealing with broken families, struggling to make ends meet, and so many others problems.  Is there any doubt that time has to be coming to a close soon?
     That is the biggest thing keeping me awake nights these days.  When I think of what the Bible says about the end times it scares me, not for myself, because I know where I stand, but for others.  I am NOT a bold person when it comes to talking about my faith most times, but find it almost impossible to stay quiet about it now.  Time is too short. I look forward to the day that Jesus comes to take God's children home, but also dread the day because of those who will be left behind. 
     On the bright side, it is only a little more than an hour until the alarm goes off and my family will awaken from their slumber.  At least then I will have company.

Football Dad

     As most of you already know, I wear many hats.  Last week I posted about my oldest daughter marching with the high school band, and my feelings as "Band Dad."  For those of you wondering, she did great Friday night, and I, miraculously, made it through the night without crying.
     I also have become "Football Dad" this year.  My 6 year old son, is in his first year playing rec league football.  I am a better band dad than football dad.  Playing football and baseball are all he has ever wanted to do.  He has played baseball for 3 years now, and has been one of the better players on his team.  Last year he had to play soccer instead of football because of his age, and I knew he was disappointed.  This year he made the age limit by less than a month and a half. Therein lies part of the problem.
     My son is one of, if not the youngest players on the team, by far.  He is also one of the smallest.  In other sports size doesn't come into play that much, but in football a 43 pound barely 6 year old doesn't stand much of a chance against a 100+ pound almost 8 year old.  I'll give him credit though, he tries.  The biggest thing is that his mind comprehends a lot of what he is supposed to do, he is one of the best on the team about finding his position and knowing where he is supposed to be, but his body isn't able to accomplish what his mind tells him to do.  This is where being football dad gets tough for me.
     It's not easy for me to watch him struggle.  I knew that football would be good for him as far as him learning teamwork and discipline, but I didn't realize how much he would struggle playing the game.  My routine at his practices is set now, I take my chair, my headphones, and something to read.  I will watch to make sure he doesn't get hurt, but can't stand much more than that.  I also don't care to listen to all of the other parents talking about how great this 6 year old or that 7 year old is going to be.  I have seen a lot of 7 year old future hall of famers not pan out.  I also don't want to see how bad he is struggling, he is going to face a lot of adversity in his life, 6 year old football is a good place for him to learn to overcome by himself.  It will make him stronger.
     I take solace in the fact that in a few years he will be old enough to play baseball year round if he so chooses.  I think that is his real love anyway.  Besides that I am a great baseball dad.

Random Thoughts

     I have been up since 3 am this morning struggling with several issues.   I do this some times.  Lots of prayers have given up no answers.  That's okay, the time with my Lord was precious.  When you pray for someone with a terminal illness, do you pray for healing, or deliverance?  The easy answer is to pray for God's will, but we don't necessarily know what that is.  To live is Christ, but to die is gain.  Our humanity makes us think that healing would be the best, but wouldn't deliverance actually be better?
     I am thinking about something big for the month of September for the blog.  I am not sure that I am going to try it, or that it would be anything more than an unmitigated disaster.  Stay tuned for more details.
     I truly apologize for the quality and quantity of posts lately.  It is hard to keep this up like I did when I am leaving home around 6am and getting home around 8:30 pm.  I do like to eat, and see my family.  Look for information about September coming soon as soon as I decide exactly what I plan to try, or if I want to try  it or not.

Marching Band Dad Thoughts

     Tonight will be my daughters debut with her high school marching band.  I think I am more nervous than she is.  I realize that this is one more milestone in her march to adulthood, and I'm not ready.
     Up until this point, things were easy.  Recreation league games, beginner band, band manager......  these were easily taken, because it was still "kid stuff."  It seems like yesterday she was starting pre-k. Tonight she is marching in the high school band.  Where did the time go? 
     I asked her this morning when I woke her up if she was nervous.  She said "kind of."  I knew she was. I reminded her of what her band director told the band a few weeks ago, life is made of moments, and to enjoy each one.  I thnk she will, band seems to be her true love.
     As for Dad, I will be sitting in the stands watching, and true to form will probably have a tear or two of joy when she marches out with the band.  The older she gets, and the older I get, the more I try to grasp and hold on to those moments, because I know that each one is precious.   

Life Happens

     When I started this blogging journey, I fully intended to do a new blog each and every day.  Soon I found myself trying to do blogs each weekday, and now can't even keep up with that.  That's okay.  As I type this now, I am sitting at my desk beside the dock door, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with corn chips.  When I say peanut butter and jelly with corn chips, I mean chips on the sandwich.  It's quicker and easier that way.
     That's just one of the shortcuts I find myself taking lately.  My son is playing football, so he practices 3 nights a week plus Saturdays.  My oldest daughter is in band practice 3 afternoons a week, then starts marching on Friday nights tomorrow night.  My youngest daughter hasn't even started soccer season yet.    My wife and I get a quick kiss on the way in and out the door if we are lucky.
     Yesterday I got home from work, took a shower, and got ready for church.  Dinner was ate quickly as usual, and off we went.  When we came home from church, the front door of our house was standing wide open.  I drove down the street, called the police, and waited.  We escorted them to our house and waited nervously as we watched them going through our home with flashlights blazing.  Soon they came out the door and told me I could come in and look around.  Nothing was missing or moved.  We had, in our haste to get ourselves and our children out the door, simply forgotten to shut the front door. 
     The thing is, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.  I made a promise to myself and my kids that I would do everything possible to be there for all the things they did.  Sometimes when they do things at the same time it is impossible, but I give it my best shot. I am proud to say that the only time I have missed one of my children's activities is when they conflicted and I couldn't be on two places at once. 
     The blog will get done when I have time, and when I have something to say. Church, football, band and soccer can't wait.

Official Blog Video

Don't really have anything to say, so I will share this video.  Hopefully it will post and you can see it.  Many of you have probably seen it before, but if not, enjoy.  Very busy time right now for me, so blogs may not be coming daily like they have been for a while.

Homecoming Season

Spring Creek Baptist Church

     I went to homecoming at a little church called Spring Creek Baptist Church yesterday.  My Mother In Law and Father In Law go there and invited us.  I have spoken before about my affinity for smaller churches.  For some reason the singing seems to be a little sweeter, the food a little better, and the preaching a little more to the point at the smaller churches.  Yesterday was no different.
     One thing had me concerned, and that was the fact that this church likes having dinner on the grounds.  I like dinner on the grounds, but hesitate in 90+ degree weather.  Luckily the fellowship hall was chosen to host the dinner.
     This is the time of year when churches start having homecomings in the south.  Homecoming season kicks into high gear in early August and runs through late September.  I don't know what verse in the Bible says Thou Shalt have thy homecoming in the months of August or September, but it has to be in there somewhere.   My Mother's church, Sardis Baptist held their homecoming today also, along with a few other churches in the area.  My church has homecoming the second Sunday in September.  I think the second Sunday in August and September must be the prime homecoming dates, they seem to be the most popular.
     I always find it ironic when preachers at homecomings speak of Jesus feeding the masses with the loaves and fishes.  I have often looked at the spread for the homecoming dinner and thought there was no way that amount of food could feed as many people that were there, only to see people take home more food than they brought.  Everybody brings their best dishes, and looks to have a good time of worship and fellowship.  What could be better?

The Boys In The Band

     As most of you readers have figured out, I was in the band in high school  We had a great band, with great directors.  Ron Becton should be in the band directors hall of fame.  Robert Fisher was the Tonto to Mr. Becton's Lone ranger.  The thing that made our band so special was that we were all so close, especially the guys.

My Band

     We weren't like most band guys, most of us were rough around the edges.  Some came from broken homes, some were farm boys, some were just tough.  We were close.  Some of us ended up staying around home, or coming back later.  We went to college, got jobs, had families, but when we see each other, we still feel the brotherhood.
     I followed Gene to college.  He graduated before I did, but we ended up at Berry together.  I haven't seen him in years.   His Mom tells me he is a successful teacher now.  David was my best friend.  He went into computers.  David married a city girl and had two kids, divorced and married her again.  Another city girl followed after the second divorce.  Now after the third divorce he is dating the girl he always wanted back in school.  He finally seems happy.
      Michael drives the bread truck.  I see him all the time delivering bread.  Wesley works at the denim mill.  Excuse me, Wesley is in the fashion industry.  Derek does competitive barbeque. Chris and Butch joined the Army.  Khevin lives in Chattanooga now, and just recently, after all these years, married his high school sweetheart. He reads the blog.
     Whitney went into the Marine Corps, then started working in the restaurant business.  Craig was the youngest person in the group, he came along just as everybody else was getting ready to graduate.  When I graduated everybody said I was the best tuba player ever at that school, Craig made me look like a beginner by the time he was done.  He was better than I could have ever dreamed of being.  He ended up going to Florida State, and is a succesful educator.
     My daughters band director told his band the other day that life was made of moments, and you can't get them back, take advantage of each moment. I would love to have some of those moments back. 

In Search Of D.B. Cooper

The Man, The Myth, The Legend, D.B. Cooper

    Recently, the news media has been abuzz (how's that for a word) over the FBI saying they may have finally solved the case of D.B.Cooper.  A woman, Marla Cooper, came forward and said she had reason to believe that her uncle L.D. Cooper was the mysterious D.B.  The FBI says her claims are credible, and that her uncle, L.D. may well have been D.B. Cooper.  I'm calling a foul.
     First off, it has been nearly 40 years since all of this took place, and I would like to think that the FBI had better things to do than worry about who D.B. Cooper was.  Assuming that L.D. Cooper was him, he died in 1999 anyway, so nothing would be gained from "solving" the crime other than the FBI salvaging a little pride.  I would think the statute of limitations would be over, but found out that the FBI got an indictment against John Doe AKA D.B. Cooper right before it ran out.  Maybe they want to try to collect taxes on the stolen money from his estate.
    More importantly, I don't think we really need to know who D.B. Cooper was.  Finding out his real identity would probably make me feel how I felt when I found out wrestling was fake.  Some things are just better off left alone.
     The biggest reason that I hope it's not true, and that the mystery of D.B. Cooper lives on, is that this would be one more bit of my youth that would disappear.  Evel Knievel and Elvis are dead, Mohammed Ali and Dusty Rhodes are old, but  D.B. Cooper is still the same as he always was, a mysterious police sketch that never changes.  I take some comfort in that, that maybe there is something that never changes.  Too much of my youth has gone away already, and each little bit that goes makes me face my own aging even more.
      Now I am reading that DNA tests have come back, and that L.D. Cooper's DNA does not match what they have on file for D.B.  Imagine that. I am not surprised.  Marla Cooper is still going to write a book about it, and will probably get rich.  That's the way it's done now.