Time to get some stuff out, cleanse my mind, and just basically reset. Some things in life I just do not understand. I am a big boy, and I can handle most anything, but the one thing that can hurt me is when my family is hurting, especially my kids. Being a Dad is the greatest thing in the world to me, and I cherish each and every moment that I get to do the job of Daddy. I hurt tremendously when my kids are hurting though.
My kids are wonderful, and I truly believe that I would be in awe of my children even if I was not their Dad. My kids love others, love God, and constantly amaze me with the things they accomplish, and the way they love without judgement. I wish others were that way.
Unfortunately, many in this world today seem to think that because my kids don't wear the best clothes, don't have the latest gadgets, and their Dad picks them up in a vehicle that is on it's last legs that my children are somehow less than they are. It hurts when my kids talk about how they get treated different because of stuff like this. I went through the same thing when I was young, and I know how it hurts. I would give anything if my kids didn't have to feel the same hurt.
I know that going through these things made me stronger, but I still want to protect my kids. I know however that this world is not a very good place right now, and that they have to face the world and stand on their own merits. I will protect them, but I also let them face the harsh realities of life sometimes. It's not easy to do.
Tonight, I found a letter one of my kids had written, and it tore my heart out. I have had to make some tough decisions lately to protect my family, and the kids aren't old enough to understand. One in particular feels that they are somehow responsible for the changes that had to be made to shield my family from being ridiculed. The saddest part is, the only thing my child wanted was not for anything bad to happen to the people that were judging them unfairly, and treating them different, they just wanted everyone to be happy, and "things to be the way they were."
That's where I have to be the bad guy, and make the changes that are going to hurt in the short term, but that I know will be best in the long run. It's hard, because the kids can't see things from my perspective. All I can do is continue to do what I have done before: love my family, teach them to love God and others, and raise them to realize that not having the best in material things does not make them any less of a person than anybody else. If I do that, I have done my job.
I am proud of my family, and will defend them as best I can. If it makes me the bad guy in the eyes of the world, then so be it. I am Dad, and that is my job.
Nostalgia, humor, and family, with a touch of tears.
