Why Me Lord

     Today's post comes not from me, but from a friends post on Facebook.  This post was one of the best posts I have read in quite some time.  Like my friend, I sometimes have nights when I cannot sleep, and wrestle with prayer and quiet contemplation with God.  My friend titles his posts "Right From The Desk Of My Heart.  I hope you enjoy this post from Chris.

I'm not quite sure how to begin this post.I suppose by just simply telling the story as it happened...
I had a bit of a restless night last night.Tossing and turning.Not quite being able to get completely comfortable...which is really not out of the ordinary for me.But ,as I found myself drifting in and out,in the waking hours,I had a very heavy thought about my life.The opportunities that I have had.Those that I have made good on as well as those that I haven't done so well with and a recurring question seemed to haunt me out of what little sleep was available.
They say that music is an expression of the soul,so it comes as no surprise that the question that was keeping me awake was in the form of an old tune entitled "Why Me,Lord?" I would like to be naive enough to think that every opportunity that I have ever had were the one's in which I had made good on,but as I began to look through the scope of time,sadly enough,many more were the opportunities that I never acted upon or either made a horrific jumble of.
In the middle of that,just out of the darkness in my bedroom,the question,"why me ,Lord? " popped into my train of thought.You may ask,"well,how does this tie into good or bad opportunities?" Because of a fact that is so simple that even children can understand...let me give you the lyrics.As you read them,think about those opportunities in your own lives,good or bad and allow it to make sense and I will close this note with my thoughts as I feel it applied to me...

Why me,Lord? What have I ever done,to deserve even one of the pleasures I've known? Tell me,Lord...What did I ever do,that was worth loving you or the kindness you've shown?

Lord help me Jesus,I've wasted it! So help me,Jesus,I know what I am...and now that I know that I have needed you so help me,Jesus,my soul's in your hands.

Try me,Lord.If you think there's a way.I can try to repay all I've taken from you.Maybe Lord,I can show someone else.What I've been through myself,on my way back to you.

As I thought long and hard about this tune and opportunities,the only conceivable answer as to "why me,Lord" became very clear.Why do you still allow me to have opportunity when I've not handled most in the manner as I should have? Why me,Lord when the ones that I have made good with were mediocre at best? The answer...because of love.
The love of God for humanity is the greatest love that has ever been known...and until we come to the understanding that what we do has to reflect that type of love,our opportunities will be mediocre at best. The best way to even try to repay the kindnesses shown to us is to love one another with a pure heart.So,as morning broke,I gained a new understanding of "why" we are given more opportunities than we deserve.
God's word states,"herein is love,not that we loved him,but rather that he first loved us." Right from the desk of my heart. :)

More Random Ramblings

     I checked my Facebook tonight when I got home from football practice with my son.  Of course this was after I ate the homemade pizza my wife, the lunch lady, had made for me.  Lots of stuff going on, and lots of stuff on my mind.
     Today (Tuesday) Braden Martin would have been 4 years old.  Braden and his brother Brad were both killed in a car accident on April 5, 2010.  I remember what I was doing, and where I was standing when I heard the news.  Their brother, Bran, and their Father and Mother Gene and Becky survived the accident.  Bran almost didn't, and his recovery is nothing short of a miracle.  I hope that I can bring you their story here on this site soon.  These are great people, whom I love dearly.
     Another friend of mine lost his grandmother yesterday at 100 years of age.  Living to 100 is not something that many people accomplish.  I read the things that were written about her, and she left a great testimony from her life.  That is something that we should all hope for, that when we pass on, even though their are tears, there will be the hope that it is not the end, but only a beginning.  My prayers are with this family also.
      My uncle, Oscar A (Bud) Fletcher would have been 87 years old yesterday.  He was a character.  I remember very little about him, but I do remember being in awe of him.  He was an old Navy man.  I have learned a lot more about him lately.  Being in the Navy, he got to see the world.  Thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with some of his children, my cousins.  I will probably talk more about him one day.
     Lastly, I had another dream of my Dad Saturday night.  In a lot of ways I look forward to these dreams, because they are so vivid, and I feel like I have gotten to spend time with him.  The one I have most often does hurt though, because I often dream that he is not really gone.  While it is comforting, and exciting while I am asleep, it hurts tremendously when I wake up.  This time was different.  The latest dream my Dad was not as I always knew him, but was of him as he was when he was young.  My dad was strong and healthy. and young.  This is the way I know he will be the next time I see him.  Maybe that is one of the reasons death doesn't get me like it used to.  I know that there are better things ahead.  This life is hard, but it is only temporary.
     Once again I guess I have rambled my way to a topic.  I truly feel sorry for people that don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, especially when it comes to losing loved ones.  I just don't see how they can handle it.  Losing a loved one is hard even for Christians, but at least their is that assurance that the separation is not permanent.  It is only temporary.     The little time that the separation is there is no comparison to the eternity together in the end.  I try not to use this as a forum to push my faith too much, but instead use it to show a dad's life from a christian perspective.  I will however sometimes ask these questions.....if you were to die tonight, do you know where you will spend eternity?  If you were to die tonight, have you lived a life that those you leave behind will have a hope of seeing you again?  I hope the answer to both of these was yes.