Finding My Calling

      Lately I have been giving a lot of thought about life, mostly in what makes a person happy, and what defines a persons life.  I can honestly say that as far as I am concerned, the calling part is still far away from me.  I do know that driving a forklift in a manufacturing plant just does not seem like what my entire calling in life is supposed to be.  I have reached the one year date of the goal I set for myself, of being out of the plant in a year. I didn't make it.
     Most people look back at the first of each year, but since I set the goal a year ago, I am going to do it now.  I had some success, and some failures this past year.  I had a story make the national finals of a short story contest, and had the story actually get published by a national web site.  For that accomplishment I received $50.  I have made approximately $6.47 on this blog.  Needless to say, being a freelance writer does not look to be my calling.
     I have had a great year in being Daddy to my kids.  I have watched them play in the high school band, play baseball, football, soccer, and softball.  I have listened as my now 7 year old son, and my 9 year old daughter have brought tears to my eyes with some of the sweetest prayers I have ever hear.  I have watched my teenage daughter grow into an exceptional young woman.  My wife and I have grown closer.  I can count those as successes.
    I still have not been able to get my elderly mother out of her house, which is falling down around her and is not safe, into decent housing.  That has been a prayer of mine for years.  I also have not been able to get my family out of our mobile home and into a real house.  I am however thankful that we have roofs over our heads, and food to eat.  That's all we need.
     Something inside of me is gnawing away at me, and I can't get a grip on it.  There is something else out there for me, and I feel like I am so close to figuring it out I can't stand it.  I can feel it inside of myself, just waiting to burst out, but don't know what it is.  This next year I am going to try to focus more on figuring out what it is, and striving towards that calling.  When I get that gnawing feeling out of me, I know I will have relief.
     I have come to the conclusion that material things, although nice to have, are not what makes us happy.  This week we have been to an Atlanta Braves game, and will go to a Rome Braves game.  We have had a cookout with great friends and just sat on the deck watching fireworks, eating hamburgers, hot dogs and ice cream, and just enjoyed being with people that care.  The tickets to both games were freebies, and the cookout costs were minimal.  Money did not make those memories.
     Happiness comes from within.  That's what I have to get a handle on.  I don't know yet what the calling inside of me is, but know that I am close to finding what I am supposed to do with my life.  Until then, I am going to keep on enjoying the little things in life.