Politics

     This article is about poilitics, from the Latin Poli, meaning many, and tic meaning blood sucking animal.

     One day I was out walking through the woods with two of my friends, one a die hard Democrat and the other a hard core Republican.  After a while we decided we needed to get back as it was getting late and we were hungry.  Soon we realized we were hopelessly lost.  Not only were we lost, but after walking all day we were extremely hungry.  Luckily, we came across a huge apple tree.
     The Republican said "this is my land, and my apple tree.  I will be glad to let you have some of my apples, all we need to do is for one of you to climb up and shake the apples down."  I asked "who do you guys think should climb the tree?"
     The Republican said "since this is my land, and my tree, I shouldn't have to do it.  I have let you walk my land, and I am offering my tree.  One of you should do it."
     The Democrat said "I would love to climb the tree, but maybe if we sit here long enough the apples will just fall from the tree and we will have something to eat."
     I told the Democrat "let's be fair about this.  It's his tree, and his apples.  I will climb the tree if you will catch the apples when they fall and divide them out."  Everybody agreed, so up the tree I went.  I climbed the tree, and shook with all my might, watching the apples fall to the ground.
     I climbed back down expecting my share.  I looked, and the apples were still sitting on the ground where they had fell.  The Democrat was sitting under a tree watching everything unfold.  I asked him, "why didn't you divide the apples out?"  He replied "the apples are on the ground, bring me one and I will eat it."  the Republican said "wait a minute, these are my apples and I will decide who gets what."
     I figured that I had worked hard, and deserved an apple, so I reached down to pick one up.  The Democrat said "Hey, that's my apple, bring it here and let me eat it."  I said if you want one, get one yourself."
     The Republican said "These are my apples, pick them up, take them all to town and sell them and I will let you have one for every 1,000 you sell."
     This went on for a long time.  I decided I was going to try to make my way out of the woods myself. I asked if either of them were going with me, since nothing was getting accomplished.  The Republican said "I own the land, so I shouldn't have to go."  The Democrat said "it's not my land, so I shouldn't have to go.  When you get out send help back for us"  The Republican said "when you come back, bring $20 as I need to charge you for the damage to my tree."
     I made my way out of the woods and finally found a road.  I walked down the road a little ways and finally found a little store.  The owner was a nice man and seeing my sad state gave me a drink and a sandwich before offering to dive me home.  He asked if I was the only one lost and I told him no, but the others were too far gone to try to rescue.  They later found them starved to death in the middle of a big pile of apples.